Sarah here. We hope you’ve been enjoying our blog! Throughout October, we focused on values in general and more specifically on parenting values. We released our all-new parenting values self-assessment, Jump Start Your Parenting, which is available exclusively to newsletter subscribers. Today, I’ll be focusing on something that goes hand-in-hand with values: goals.
 
Oxford Languages defines goals in part as the following: “the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.” Based on this definition, it’s clear that goals are highly personal, they are tied to behavior and they focus on outcomes. While values give us a sense of direction and focus on what is important in life, goals give us concrete targets and focus on specific things that we want to achieve.
 
We have talked about how values serve as the compass guiding you on your path. Staying with that metaphor, if values are the compass guiding you on life’s journey, then goals are the stops along your way. They are the specific things you set out to do while you are practicing your values. Here’s an example: if being an organized parent is your value, goals along your way could include setting up a shared family calendar or implementing a family chore chart.
 
The above example highlights a key distinction between values and goals. Unlike values, goals can be accomplished. We can also fail to achieve goals. If you aren’t sure whether something is a goal or a value, consider whether it can be checked off a list.
 
For practice, read the list below and decide which items are goals and which are values:

• Be a loving parent
• Tell my child something I genuinely like or appreciate about him/her today
• Take my child to the park this Saturday
• Spend time with my child
  

Ready to check your answers? In order, the items on the list are value, goal, goal, value. Notice how the values are broader qualities and more general activities while the goals are concrete and observable.
 
Remember that goals are concrete actionable items we can check off a list. Setting goals helps us get things done and when we achieve them, we feel a sense of accomplishment. Goals also give us specific steps to take to live in alignment with our values. 
 
This week, take some time to think about the goals you have as a parent. If you have trouble, go back to your values – knowing what is important to you can help you decide which goals to set. Let us know what you come up with in the comments below.
 
Still stuck on figuring out your parenting values? Sign up for our newsletter to get access to our all-new parenting values self-assessment, Jump Start Your Parenting!

​Welcome back! Lisa here. Last week, we talked about parenting values. I hope you’ve taken a little time to think about what your parenting values are. If you haven’t read last week’s blog, go back and take a look. 
 
As a brief recap, parenting values are about who you want to be as a parent. Parenting values guide your parenting decisions and your parenting style, but parenting values and decisions/ style are not the same. When you know what your parenting values are you can make clearer decisions about how you want to parent your children. 
 
Many parents spend a lot of time questioning whether they are doing the “right” thing for their children. It can be difficult to sort out all the input you get from others (your coparent(s), your own parents, your friends, other parents in the neighborhood, pop culture, etc.) to know what you really think and feel about your own parenting. Identifying your parenting values allows you to assess your actions and feel assured that you are on the right track. 
 
When you are questioning whether you are doing a good job as a parent, your values are a good touchstone to let you know the answer to that question. If you’ve really thought about your parenting values and your behavior is aligned with those values, then you are doing the job that is most important to you as a parent. 

Likewise, your parenting values can help you get back on track when you make a misstep. If you find yourself saying or doing things that do not feel “right” to you or if you notice unwanted changes in the way you are relating to your children, check in with yourself to make sure that you are behaving in ways that align with your parenting values. 
 
So, how do you figure out what your parenting values are? Answering the question, “How do I want my children to describe me as a parent?” can provide you with insight about your parenting values. Thinking about how you want to relate to your children can also provide insight into your values. For instance, you may value spending lots of time with your children or you may value doing specific activities with them. You may value teaching and modeling behaviors for your children, or you may value letting them figure things out on their own. Remember, your values are not “right” or “wrong.” Instead, they’re based on what is most important to you.
 
Take a little time this week to figure out your own parenting values. Let us know in the comments what parenting values are most important to you. If you need a little help, check out our brand new parenting values self-assessment, Jump Start Your Parenting! It's only available to your newsletter subscribers, so click here to sign up today!