Why is it SO HARD to Have Some Conversations With Your Kids?

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Sarah here. This week, we’re starting a new mini-series of posts focused on communication. Rather than discussing communication in general, we wanted to focus on challenging conversations. Lisa and I have worked with many families that struggle to have conversations about sensitive topics. What counts as a “sensitive topic” is somewhat subjective, but common topics include: sex (and physical development/puberty), politics, current and historical events, physical differences, and religion. This week I’m setting the stage by discussing why it’s important to have these talks. In the coming weeks, we’ll focus on talking with your kids about specific sensitive topics.

Struggling to talk with kids about sensitive topics isn’t an isolated issue facing only a subset of parents. In our experience, this is a pretty universal challenge. Why are some topics so tough to talk about?

• Parents may feel unsure of how to broach a subject.
• They may question how old their kids should be when they discuss a topic.
• Parents may feel nervous, awkward, uncomfortable, or embarrassed about talking to their kids about a subject.
• They may not know what to say- literally, they may not know what they want to convey when discussing a topic.
  

And what happens when parents feel this uncertainty and angst about having these sensitive conversations with their kids? Well, at least some of the time, they avoid these talks like the plague! And that makes sense- avoiding these conversations can decrease distress in the short term. But consider this: if you don’t talk with your kids about these sensitive topics, someone else will. So, would you rather your kids get their information from classmates, neighbor kids, or other unreliable sources…or from you?

Be brave enough to have those challenging talks with your child. Not only will it shape the information your child has, but it will also model that you can talk about hard things, and that your kids can come to you to talk about anything. That’s a win-win-win. Be sure to stay tuned in the coming weeks as we discuss tips and strategies for talking about specific sensitive topics. 

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