Keep those lines of communication with your kids open- even when it's tough!
@nautilusbehavioral
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Sarah here. Across the country, the school year is starting- if it hasn’t already, it will be within very soon. For the past couple of weeks, we’ve brought you practical ideas and support to help you and your family get ready for the 2020-2021 school year. First, Lisa shared information about getting an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) to meet your child’s needs (see Advocating for Your Child’s IEP). Last week, I focused on developing a game plan and getting yourself organized for back-to-school given this year’s…unique global health climate (see Let’s Get Organized for Back-to-School!).  This week, I’m changing gears to focus on the emotional side of back-to-school. And, oh my goodness is there ever an emotional side of back-to-school this year! Back-to-school every year is full of excitement, anticipation, anxiety, uncertainty, angst and dread. But, this year, we have all of that normal stuff plus an overwhelming helping of uncertainty, courtesy of COVID-19. So, things are a big stressful mess and everyone—kids, parents, teachers, administrators, support staff, bus drivers, extended family members, health care providers…seriously, everyone—is experiencing a jumble of emotions about going back to school in the era of COVID-19. I wish that it weren’t this way. I wish that back-to-school was easier and more straight-forward. I wish that there wasn’t so much stress about making decisions for you and your family. I wish that school staff members felt safe and weren’t distressed about returning to schools. I wish that kids could go about their business as usual and that parents could feel okay instead of struggling with doubt and guilt about their back-to-school plans. I wish that things were “normal,” but the truth is, I’m not really sure what “normal” is for school at this point. So, instead of lamenting about how things “should” be or giving you an optimistic-to-the-point-of-being-naïve pep talk, I’m going to use a strategy that may help you cope with this and other challenging times. Providing empathy with humor and helping you laugh to keep from crying. Ordinarily, back-to-school is a time that parents look forward to…  But COVID-19 has created a lot of stress for parents! In a lot of families, it may be the parents—rather than the kids—who are hesitant about the start of the school year. As I mentioned last week, a lot of kids seem to be thrilled about going back to school this year- even kids who normally hate school. They can’t wait to get out of the house and be around other people!  Of course, not all kids feel so excited about returning to school in-person. Some kids are really hesitant to be out and about in the world. After so much social distancing, they have serious concerns about whether it’s safe or a good idea to return to school in-person. Instead of being giddy about the change of scenery and seeing their peers, reluctant kids may feel more like:  And frankly, some kids may be digging virtual school. They may be independent kids who thrive at self-paced learning. They may also really love their COVID-19 wardrobe.  Some parents have concerns about sending their kids to school, but school attendance may be a necessity given practical considerations, finances, academic needs and, well, sanity. Virtual school isn’t feasible for everyone…I mean, families may have made it across the finish line in the Spring semester, but let’s face it, a lot of us ended up feeling like:  While parents may have valued and appreciated teachers before, well…let’s just say that being thrown into teaching gave many parents a lot more appreciation for what teachers actually do:  It’s a fact: COVID-19 has turned everyone’s normal plans upside down. This year, instead of it being a given where kids will go to school, parents (and schools) across the country have been faced with difficult questions. What will education look like? Will it be in-person? Synchronous remote school? A hybrid model with both virtual and in-person class? Will school be conducted by classroom teachers or through a separate “virtual school?” Schools are trying to prepare for various contingencies, develop decision trees and “follow the rules” specified by the higher ups (governing school boards, county, state and federal officials). With all of the possibilities, teachers learning about back-to-school plans for Fall 2020 may be hearing:  Meanwhile, parents have been anxiously waiting for news about how back-to-school will be proceeding for their kids. They may have taken surveys about their preferences and may have been asked to select which instructional model their child will be utilizing this Fall. Frankly, none of the options seem great right now, leaving many parents feeling like:  Feeling like all of the available options for your child’s upcoming academic year are less-than-ideal at best and cringeworthy or downright unrealistic at worst is not a great spot to be in. That can cause some serious parent stress. Like many parents, my husband and I had to select our daughter’s start-of-school option for Fall 2020. This process felt a lot like:  Parents, teachers, administrators…everyone understandably has a lot of questions about how school reopening plans will actually work. Schools didn’t magically get larger classrooms, more teachers, and massive budget increases…so if classrooms will be following student-to-teacher ratios and social distancing protocols…  So, it’s not surprising that a lot of teachers are feeling anxiety about returning to the classroom. While it might be easier for teachers to manage stress about their own health and safety if they were decked out in protective gear from head to toe, I think we can all agree that this wouldn’t make for a very warm and friendly learning environment:  That being said, teachers will have the difficult task of balancing instruction, classroom management, and overseeing the health and safety of themselves and their students. I could easily imagine that leading to reactions like:  …or reactions like:  Consider one intersection of classroom management and health behaviors: wearing face masks. Now, imagine being an elementary school teacher who is trying to ensure your students wear their face masks properly and consistently in class. Some truly ridiculous things I could imagine a teacher having to say include:  Here in Florida where our case numbers continue to be high, it’s hard to feel hopeful that schools will remain open- even schools with really solid plans for sanitizing, distancing and protective equipment use. There are many schools across the country that may have pretty transparent guidelines and decision trees for COVID-19. But, when I think about contingency plans for what will happen when students and/or staff inevitably test positive for COVID-19, I can’t help but feel like they aren’t very realistic…  Many parents and educators aren’t sure of what would need to happen to transition to 100% virtual education. So, we’re left telling our kids and ourselves:  That’s the truth: it’s normal to be nervous about the first day of school. It makes sense for everyone to be nervous about the first day of school this year. So, as we start the Fall semester, just remember that there are…  We can choose to put on a happy-albeit-maybe-a-bit-forced-and-nervous face before school starts. We can curl up in a ball and wish that it would all go away. But, as parents, our kids are watching how we approach the uncertainty of this academic year. So, do the best you can, remember we’re all in this together, your feelings are valid and sometimes you need to give yourself a break. It’s okay to laugh to keep from crying. Sometimes, that’s what gets us through. Click here for a printable version of this post.
Have any truly amazing back-to-school 2020 memes? Share them with us! Leave a comment below, click this link or email us at [email protected]. As a reminder, we have an amazing handout for families with information about COVID-19 that you may find helpful when speaking with your kids. Click here to take a look.
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Sarah here. I’m ironically writing this post about having an organized approach to back-to-school amidst utter chaos…paint supplies cover one table…Legos have taken completely taken over the dining room… this is what life looks like right now. Things are incredibly disorganized. This is partially because we just are a messy family and partially because we are a messy family that is coping and keeping busy during a pandemic. We have a lot of stuff going on…  So, the irony of writing about having an organized approach to anything isn’t lost on me. That being said, whether or not your physical environment is a disaster, your approach to back-to-school doesn’t have to be. There’s a lot of variability in what back-to-school will look like in the time of COVID-19 depending on the city and state in which you live, whether your kids will be attending school virtually or in-person, and the plans and procedures the school has in place. Unsure about the “right” thing to do for your kids and their education? Having doubts about the plan? You’re not alone. Unsure how things will actually go once school starts? You’re not the only one! So, how do you prepare for back-to-school when this is anything but a typical year? Back-to-school shopping, while potentially stressful, is also a really fun and exciting time of year for kids...and for some adults. I love back to school shopping- new pencils and pens, crisp notebooks and planners. There’s something magical and exciting about it all. Despite my love for back-to-school supplies, I get that this year’s shopping just doesn’t feel the same. This year isn’t the same- there’s a massive cloud of stress and uncertainty hanging over us all. As a mom, you still have to help your kids prepare to go back to school- even if you’re all feeling frazzled, tired or over it. Even if your kids will be “going” back to school at home with your support. Here are some things to consider as you gear up for back-to-school:
All over the country, back-to-school is happening in some form or fashion. As a parent, you’re dealing with fatigue, stress and lots of uncertainty. You’re an amazing mom who’s doing the best you can. Remember that kids are resilient and so are you! At some point, this too shall pass. So, take a deep breath and take time to think through back-to-school. Talk with your kids. Make sure you everyone is comfortable with the game plan. Now- ready for a silver lining? I’ve spoken with a number of kids—even ones who typically hate school— and most of them are so excited for school to finally start. I bet you are too. Tell us how you're getting ready for back-to-school! Leave a comment below, click this link or email us at [email protected].
Click here for a printable version of this post. As a reminder, we have an amazing handout for families with information about COVID-19 that you may find helpful when speaking with your kids. Click here to take a look. Welcome to our back-to-school series. Depending on where you live, your kids may have just started school or are preparing to head back in a week or two. Things might feel a little out of control right now with decisions about whether your kids will return to school in person or continue with some version of virtual education. If you have kids with learning challenges, the start of this school year may feel even more stressful, especially if you need to obtain or change accommodations. Here’s where we can help. Hopefully you read our post on 5/26/2020, That’s A Wrap and wrote down observations from last school year. That information is going to come in handy as you prep for this school year, especially if your child needs accommodations or supports at school.  As provided by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) of 2004, kids with an identified learning disability or condition that interferes with their learning or access to the curriculum qualify for an Individualized Education Program (IEP). As the name suggests, an IEP is a program that provides supports and accommodations for students with special education needs. This includes learning disabilities (e.g., Specific Learning Disorders) as well as sensory impairments.* Programs are tailored to meet the needs of the individual student. The program is outlined in an Individualized Education Plan (also referred to as an IEP), which is a legally binding document that outlines the learning goals for the student as well as the supports and accommodations that will be provided. The individuals responsible for any interventions and for monitoring the student’s progress are also included in the plan. The IEP is required to be reviewed annually to make any needed updates or changes. However, you can request updates to the IEP at any time if you’re concerned that the goals are not being met, if new learning challenges arise, or if new accommodations might be helpful. Keep in mind that the IEP only applies for students in public school. Students in private schools do not receive IEPs. Instead, they may receive a support plan. The type of plan and the supports provided will be up to the individual school. Private schools are not legally required to provide the same level of intervention or support as are public schools. At this point, you’re probably wondering how you get an IEP for your child. The process can seem mystifying, but there are lots of resources out there if you know where to look. The first thing that often stumps parents is how to even request an IEP. In some cases, teachers recognize a learning challenge and start the process from their end by referring the child for evaluation or for classroom interventions. What many parents do not know is that you can also request that your child be evaluated for an IEP. I’ve heard many stories from parents over the years about their difficulties having their request for an IEP answered. The key is to put the request in writing and send it to the school’s special education coordinator and the principal. The school then has a designated number of days to respond to your request. The amount of time varies from state to state, so check with your state’s Department of Education for the timeline. Many parents make this request to the school guidance counselor. However, in most cases, the guidance counselor is not the special education coordinator, so this adds an unnecessary step that slows down the process. One thing to keep in mind is that this is just a request for consideration for an IEP- your child may not qualify. If that is the case, you can ask your school’s special education coordinator or principal to put their reasoning in writing and to explain it to you so that you understand why your request is being denied. If your request is approved, you may need to sign a form granting permission for your child to be evaluated through the school. Once you have signed that, a comprehensive evaluation will be scheduled. Again, the school has a certain amount of time to complete the evaluation- check with your state’s Department of Education for that information. The evaluation should include standardized testing to assess your child’s particular strengths and learning deficits. It should also include information from various sources, including yourself, teachers, and school records. Once the evaluation is complete, the determination will be made about your child’s eligibility for an IEP. In some cases, parents decide to have their child evaluated by an independent licensed provider and share the results with the school. This may speed up the process but is an out-of-pocket expense that may not be covered by insurance. Schools are not required to accept the results of outside testing and, on occasion, still want to complete their own testing. If your child is eligible, you will be invited to attend an IEP meeting, where you and school staff will create your child’s IEP. Older children are encouraged to attend IEP meetings and give their input on their progress, learning style and needed accommodations/supports. Staff varies according to your child’s particular needs, but classroom teachers and the special education coordinator are typically present. Others that may be present include, but are not limited to, service providers (reading or math specialist, physical therapist, speech therapist, occupational therapist, school psychologist), principal, and guidance counselor. Usually, parents attend the meeting in person. If you can’t get to the meeting, you can elect to participate by phone. With COVID-19 precautions, you may participate in a video meeting. You may feel unsure how important your presence is at the IEP meetings. You are a critical part of your child’s team. The school personnel know the system and the academic requirements, but you are the expert on your child. The IEP meeting is where you’ll really advocate for your child. You know what works and what doesn’t work to motivate your child and help them learn. Having just done homeschooling for the last few months of the school year, you now also have firsthand knowledge about your child’s approach to learning. So, go back to your Observations from the School Yearprintable, and review what you wrote about the areas where your child struggled and where they excelled. Pay attention to what motivated your child and what made learning more difficult. These are critical observations that you can share at an IEP meeting. The most important thing to remember is that you have the right to advocate for your child. Everything you ask for may not be approved by the rest of the team, but you’d be surprised by how comprehensive an IEP can be when you’re not afraid to advocate for what your child needs. When you can relate specific observations about your child’s learning, you can request more effective interventions, supports, and accommodations. Once the team, yourself included, agrees on the goals and interventions outlined in the IEP, all team members will sign the plan and it will be implemented. Over the course of the school year, you will likely need to continue to advocate for your child to make sure the interventions are being implemented as outlined in the IEP. Remember, your child’s teacher will have many students in class, several of whom will likely have an IEP or 504 Plan (more on that below). So, sometimes things may get forgotten or missed. This is a particular challenge for middle and high school students who have multiple teachers. It is important to keep track of what interventions/supports are supposed to occur in what classes. In addition, for kids of all ages, it’s important for them to understand the kinds of accommodations they are supposed to receive and teach them to appropriately advocate for themselves. If they’re headed back to school, you won’t be with them throughout their school day to see how supports are being implemented. Even you are continuing with virtual school, they will still have interactions with their teachers, and they will have schoolwork to complete that will require the supports outlined in the IEP. Not all students with learning challenges will qualify for an IEP. Remember, an IEP covers particular diagnoses or conditions. However, students who have other conditions that impair learning, including but not limited to a medical condition, a mental health diagnosis, or ADHD, are eligible for a 504 Plan, which was provided for by Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. The 504 Plan is less specific in terms of goals and expected outcomes than the IEP, but like the IEP, it outlines accommodations and supports that will be provided to aid the student’s learning. As part of the 504 Plan process, a comprehensive evaluation is not conducted, although you may have your child evaluated by a licensed provider in the community. The team for the 504 Plan may not include as many school staff as the IEP team, but that will depend on the nature of your child’s difficulties and needed interventions. Many parents have questions throughout the IEP process, and it can be difficult to find answers. The Individuals with Disabilities Act (IDEA) of 2004 required states to create Parent Training and Information Centers (PTIs) and Community Parent Resource Centers (CPRCs) that provide information and resources for parents of children with disabilities, including help understanding the IEP or 504 process. For more information and to find the center(s) in your state, visit the Center for Parent Information and Resources at https://www.parentcenterhub.org/find-your-center/. *Conditions that qualify for an IEP according to IDEA 2004: Autism Multiple Disabilities Deaf-blindness Orthopedic Impairment Deafness Other Health Impairment (OHI_ Developmental delay Specific Learning Disability Emotional Disturbance Speech/Language Impairment Hearing Impairment Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) Intellectual Disability Visual Impairment (including blindness) Tell us how you advocate for your kids! Leave a comment below, click this link or email us at [email protected].
Click here for a printable version of this post. As a reminder, we have an amazing handout for families with information about COVID-19 that you may find helpful when speaking with your kids. Click here to take a look. |
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August 2023
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