​Most of the country is either finished with school or pulling into the home stretch. Here in the Jacksonville area, some kids are already done with school and others finish in the next week. 

Before you run off into the summer sunset, there’s one more thing to do. Take a few minutes to record your observations about your child’s learning. 
 
Every year, you get a final report card that details not only your child’s grades, but also includes some sort of indicator of overall progress that you can use to get a sense of areas to work on over the summer or during the next school year. You’re not getting that this year, at least not in the way you’re used to. You’ve been your child’s teacher for the last few months, so you’re actually the person who can best give that feedback. 
 
You’ve been in a unique position to observe your child’s learning style. You’ve seen firsthand where they shine, and you’ve been the one to help them when they struggle.
 
You’ve seen their academic genius and you’ve seen them fail. You’ve now witnessed things that, in the past, you had only heard about, often days or weeks after they happened. You’ve been inside the vault and now there’s no going back. 
 
Whether homeschooling was a breeze, a nightmare, or somewhere in between, you’ve gained some valuable insights. You now have the firsthand knowledge you need in order to effectively advocate for your child when they go back to school. Yep, that’s right, you’re an insider. 
 
BUT (yes, there’s a but), your insider knowledge will work best if you record everything now while your memory is fresh, and you have all the evidence right in front of you. You need to document the areas where your child succeeded and the areas where they struggled. You’ve had to be creative to motivate them and help them learn what they needed to learn this year. Now, write it down. 

If life during this pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that we need to be flexible and not get too attached to the way things are “supposed” to go. That becomes especially clear during holidays. We just celebrated Mother’s Day, which may have looked very different from Mother’s Days in the past. Next week is Memorial Day, which marks the end of the school year and the official beginning of summer. We normally celebrate with parades, cookouts and trips to the beach. 

This year, Memorial Day is going to look a little different. Even though many states are opening back up, most are doing so with restrictions and it’s still not a good idea to gather in groups even if beaches and restaurants are open. You and your family may have been planning a trip that’s not going happen. We’re all having to make adjustments. 
 
Even if you’re not doing your usual activities for the holiday, you can still celebrate. Memorial Day is a perfect day to explore some of your family history. If you have a family member who gave their lives in the military, you and your kids can learn more about them and find your own ways to honor them. 
 
Another wonderful way to honor the holiday is to reach out to current members of the military. If you have living family members who served (or serve) in the military, arrange a phone call or video chat with them to show your appreciation. Many organizations may need virtual volunteers to help with projects, like creating care packages for members of the military and their families. Alternatively, you and your family can write letters or make phone calls to members of the military, their families, or to veterans living in nursing homes or senior centers. 

​If you and your family want to learn more about Memorial Day, many museums, like the Smithsonian, are offering virtual tours and other information on their websites. With a little planning, you can preview the content and decide what would best suit your kids. 
 
Don’t worry, even though plans have changed, you can still enjoy some of the traditional Memorial Day activities. Have a cookout or picnic in your backyard. You can play games and listen to your favorite music. Arts and crafts projects to celebrate the holiday or decorate the house are engaging activities that your kids can do with you or on their own (when you need a break 😉). You can even involve other family members or friends via video chat- connect your cookout to their cookout and it’ll be like a block party. You may not be able to attend a parade, but many cities are hosting virtual events that you can watch instead. PBS will be airing their annual National Memorial Day Concert, so gather your family and watch from 8:00 to 9:30 pm EST on Sunday, May 24, 2020. 

If you and your family normally take a trip during Memorial Day weekend, you can recreate your vacation at home. Go camping in your backyard or your living room. Print out pictures of your intended destination and use them to decorate the house. You may even be able to do some of the activities you had planned, like safely going for a hike or a bike ride, hanging out by the pool, or playing in the sprinkler or on the backyard water slide. Recreate the kinds of meals you would have had during your vacation. Making a special “staycation” meal can be a fun family activity and a nice way to bring your vacation destination to you. 
 
If you and your family do decide to go to a local beach or park for the holiday, please have fun, stay safe and observe social distancing guidelines. No matter how you decide to celebrate this Memorial Day, remember that you can still focus on what’s important: remembering and honoring all of the men and women who have given their lives in military service.

​Tell us how you and your family are celebrating Memorial Day. Leave a comment below, click this link or email us at [email protected].

Click here for a printable version of this post.
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​As a reminder, we have an amazing handout for families with information about COVID-19 that you may find helpful when speaking with your kids. Click here to take a look.

​It’s almost mid-May. Normally, kids all over the country would be well into their last-day-of-school countdown. Families would normally be putting the finishing touches on their summer vacation plans and locking in their kids’ final summer camp plans. But we aren’t dealing with normal right now. And we aren’t quite sure when life will be back to normal again. In addition to wreaking havoc on the health, economy and education of our world, COVID-19 has really put the future into question. There’s a tremendous amount of uncertainty about how things will unfold in the coming weeks and months. It brings to mind that quote: “The best laid plans of mice and men go awry.” The best laid plans of moms and dads, of kids, of college students…all the best laid summer plans have flown out the window. So…now what?
 
Sarah here. Like so many families out there, my family and I are knee deep in this “best laid plans” situation. That summer beach trip we planned for the week after school gets out… 

​The summer camp we’ve had lined up for months…

Now, don’t get me wrong. These are not life and death issues. There are so many more serious things going on in the world right now. But, in our world and I’m guessing in yours, plans falling apart can certainly create a lot of stress, frustration, disappointment, tension and conflict. When you’ve been looking forward to something and it falls through…it’s crummy. Spring and Summer 2020 plans being called off is no one’s fault. It is what it is. But, think about how upset you feel that things fell through. As an adult, you have age, wisdom, experience, maturity and higher-level cognitive functioning on your side. Now, try to imagine what that might be like for your kid(s). They’re dealing with the same situations but with far fewer resources. So, yeah…it may get ugly when you break the news that the big summer vacation has been cancelled.

There isn’t a perfect way to talk with your kid(s) about massive changes to summer plans. But there are some things that might make it go a little more smoothly.

• DO talk with your partner about summer plans before talking with the kid(s). If some plans are still up in the air, discuss where you stand, what you’re comfortable with and what makes sense for your family. If plans have fallen through, think about how to tell the kids.
• DO talk with your partner about whether there are any alternative plans that can be put in place. Maybe the summer camp they’ve been looking forward to has been cancelled. But there may be other options available…even if they aren’t a perfect match for their interests or your schedule. In this case, something is better than nothing. Likewise, the big vacation may have been called off, but perhaps there are things closer to home you and your family could safely do. Even if it’s camping in the backyard or taking a virtual trip to the Smithsonian.
• DO have backup plans fleshed out before talking with your kid(s), if possible. Think through how your kid(s) may react to this disappointing news. If nothing else, thinking things through and knowing possible alternatives (Plan B or C or D…) may help you remain calm and composed, even if your kid(s) freak out.

• DO be honest with your kid(s) about your feelings to the extent it’s developmentally appropriate. It’s okay for them to know you’re disappointed and upset too! Being stoic may send the message that you are unaffected or don’t care.
• DO remember that your kid(s) are kids. Don’t take it personally if they get upset. Work on perspective taking. Think about how their lives have been changed…they don’t get to go to school or hang out with friends, you’re teaching them and have been their main social outlet…and now, the plans they’ve been looking forward to have fallen apart.

 
This is a challenging situation but remember that you aren’t the only one going through it. It doesn’t necessarily make everything better, but it may feel a little easier to seek social support from family, friends, neighbors and coworkers if you realize that they’re probably dealing with the same things. It’s okay to feel flustered or upset or disappointed that plans have fallen through. So, even though you may feel bad or guilty about your kids being upset, remember that it’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. When best laid plans go awry, have compassion for your family and for yourself. Model perspective taking and cognitive flexibility. And, know that at some point, things will get better. 

Tell us how you and your family are dealing with summer plans falling through. Leave a comment, click this link or email us at [email protected].

Click here for a printable version of this post.
​​​
​As a reminder, we have an amazing handout for families with information about COVID-19 that you may find helpful when speaking with your kids. Click here to take a look.