Failure Can Be Your Friend

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​Lisa here. This week we’re starting with a quote from Oprah Winfrey: 

​Failure is a scary thing for many people. It doesn’t feel good and when you fail, it can feel like you’re even further away from your goals. If you tend to get in your head about things, you can start feeling very down on yourself and your abilities when you fail. BUT failure doesn’t have to be a bad thing. 
 
The reality is that if you try enough things enough times, you’re going to fail at something. As humans, we grow, learn, and can get stronger when we fail. Failure isn't a bad thing we need to avoid. It's a part of life. 
 
When you look at it that way, it’s easier to find the lessons in your failure. When you recognize that failure isn’t personal, you can step back and see where the missteps were and where you can improve next time. 
 
Learning to fail and then recover is also an important lesson to teach your kids. Recovering after a setback is how we build resilience. I know it’s hard to watch your kids fail at something, but it’s actually important for their development. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t help your kids or give them advice. Just remember that it’s okay to let them try things that might be a little too hard for them or let them figure out how to do some things on their own. 
 
It's also helpful to let your kids observe how you handle failure. If they see you experience disappointment, frustration, or even anger at a failure and then see how you get back on track, learn from your mistakes, and then try again, they gain a helpful model for how to manage their own failures. 
 
It’s incredibly important is to let your kids have failure and recovery experiences early in life. This way, they learn that failure doesn’t have to be a big deal and that it’s just part of the process of learning new things. They also have you there to reassure them and to help them figure out how to handle the setback if they need help. When people don’t have failure experiences until they are older, they have significantly more trouble bouncing back. Failure becomes something intolerable, and they don’t know how to cope (think college student who struggles with a class for their first time in their lives and has no idea how to problem-solve, get help, and persevere). So, if it helps, think of allowing your kids to have some failure experiences as an important part of parenting. 

​Remember that failing is part of the process. The more you remind yourself of that fact, the easier it will be to manage your feelings about failure and the quicker you will bounce back. 
 
So, get out there and do something. Fail. Own it. Keep going.

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